The guides below are meant to drive personal reflection and application. They are not presented as dogma that participants in Union Lodge must adhere to. We encourage men to wrestle with ideas and take ownership of their own convictions. And when we gather to discuss these ideas, we hope men feel free to honestly process what they really think.
When’s the last time I changed my mind (and what can I learn from it)?
Are we really as rational as we think? What motivates us to choose a position and defend it? What frees us to choose a different one?
Jacques Lacan, Desire, and the Myth of Fulfillment
What if the things you want most don’t actually reside in your own heart of hearts? Jacques Lacan’s radical psychology challenges us to see what happens when we stop trying to fix the permanent 'lack' inside us.
Maslow and Self-Actualization vs. Self-Transcendence
Later in his life, Abraham Maslow revised his famous hierarchy of needs to include self-transcendence above self-actualization. What does that mean for our vision a life well-lived?
Relational Cutoff and Repair
How do we understand and deal with family estrangement, relational cutoff, and the general sense of separation we experience with others?
Processing Regret, Loss, and Disappointment in Life
It is extremely common for men, particularly in mid-life, to be overwhelmed by guilt and regret as they take stock of their lives. How do we keep it from swallowing us so that we can move forward?
What are we talking about when we talk about loneliness? (And what are we going to do about it?)
Let’s talk about the “male loneliness epidemic”, starting with how we experience loneliness and isolation (are they the same thing?) and how we address it in our own lives.
How We Talk About “Patriarchy” According to Bell Hooks
A summarization of the main ideas in The Will to Change by Bell Hooks, meant to drive reflection on how we think about, and discuss, the concept of “patriarchy”.
Iain McGilchrist’s “Attention is a Moral Act”
Intro to the theories of British psychiatrist, philosopher and neuroscientist, Iain McGilchrist, centered on how the kind of attention we pay to the world ends up shaping the world.
Window of Tolerance
A helpful construct for visualizing our internal states, giving us a sense of how we can get back to self-regulation.
Emotional Vocabulary
Some tools and strategies for gaining a more robust vocabulary to describe our emotions, and why that’s important.
Emotional Intelligence
The critical role emotions play, why denying them dooms men to immaturity, and how we can gain greater awareness.
James Hollis’s Concept of “Provisional Selves”
Jungian psychoanalyst James Hollis’s idea of the temporary functional expressions of self we wear, and whether there’s a truer Self underneath.
Intro to Genograms
An overview of the development and use of Genograms, including a multi-step guide.
The Eight Concepts of Bowen Family Systems Theory
A broad overview of the development of systems theories in psychology.
Systems Theory in Psychology
A broad overview of the development of systems theories in psychology.
Attachment Theory
A foundational look at the theory behind secure, anxious, and avoidant attachment patterns, taken from Sue Johnson’s Attachment Theory in Practice.
Existential Therapy: Meaning
The fourth of Irvin Yalom’s “Four Main Concerns”, summarized from his book Existential Psychotherapy.
Existential Therapy: Isolation
The third of Irvin Yalom’s “Four Main Concerns”, summarized from his book Existential Psychotherapy.
Existential Therapy: Freedom
The second of Irvin Yalom’s “Four Main Concerns”, summarized from his book Existential Psychotherapy.